Becoming Your Parents

This is something we all do - even if we try not to do it. You will become something of your parents, too - even if you try not to, even if you really focus on trying not to.

I first realized this fact of human nature when I was at Bible college at age 17. The assistant dean of women discussed it in a talk to a bunch of us girls.

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). You are what you think. So if you spend a lot of time thinking about those qualities you dislike the most about your parents, then those are the very qualities you will in some way imitate in your own life.

On the other hand . . .

If you can bring yourself to truly forgive your parents (and I'm not talking about merely saying some words here, but the tough matter of heart) and spend your time thinking on what you like best about them, then you will grow into your parents' better qualities.I say you will grow into them because they are obviously much older than you and will always remain so, and therefore you can never hope to catch up until you are old - and maybe not even then!

So, the question I know you may be asking is this: have I applied this lesson that I presume, oh so rambunctiously, to teach you? I believe I have applied this lesson, but I'm not hardly saying that I am a perfect paragon of all my parents' good qualities! I am saying that I used to be a little bitter about some stuff (I honestly can't remember what), but now I'm only grateful and seeking to grow into those good qualities.

Allow me to add here that your parents are human, and so of course they both have bad qualities as well as good qualities. In fairness, you cannot argue this point unless you are okay with people saying YOU lack one or the other. So let go of the anger, and think about the positive. You'll be happier! :)

A Modern Parable

This is the story of two girls. And you know the struggle that most girls have, the desire to feel beautiful and the feeling of being ugly. Well, these two girls felt that way; and  they, like most girls, decided to do something about it.

Both girls felt that their primary facial flaw was the shape of their mouths.

Nellie tried to solve that problem by wearing the prettiest, fanciest lipstick she could find. She saved money and scoured the internet to find out which one was the best of the best.

Then, of course, she bought it and applied it. She wasn't super happy with the results, but hey - it was way better than it had been! And she could always apply it more generously whenever necessary. At least no one was seeing her naked lips anymore! She had hidden them well, and she was happy.

Never mind that she looked like a buffoon!

Heidi couldn't think how to solve that problem. She worried and cried; but then she noticed her friends' smiles, and that gave her an idea. She started consciously smiling at everyone she saw.

Soon she saw someone who was very sad, and she knew she could either be sad with him or try to cheer him up. So she smiled compassionately and said something kind, which put a smile on HIS face. He randomly said, "You're beautiful." She was taken aback, as this was the first time anyone had said that to her. And she determined to use kind words more often.

Moral: With everything in your life, you can either try to bury it, or you can invest it (Matthew 25:14-30) .

Mealtime Vain-Repetitions

What do you pray at mealtimes?

My traditional mealtime prayer as a child was "God, thank You for this food and drink; and thank You for this nice day. In Jesus' name, amen." And that's a good prayer; but when it's the same every day and every meal, it's really little more than a vain repetition.

Well, as I grew older, my mealtime prayers naturally fleshed out; but the "essentials" stayed the same. 

Then a week or two ago, God led me to make a change and start thanking Him specifically for whatever He had provided me to eat. For instance, "Thank You for this pizza, and this water." So far, it's been MUCH more meaningful!

I talked to my dad about it, and he brought up Jesus' example: "And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it" (Matt. 26:26).

His blessing for people is not so much general, to the whole earthly population; rather, it's personal and specific. Just like His gift of food - and aren't you glad He gives us the opportunity to thank Him for specific foods? I mean, nobody would want to go on a diet composed solely of an odorless, colorless, tasteless lump of nutrients. 

His Hope

The night is mother of the day,

The winter of the spring;

And ever upon old decay

The greenest mosses cling.

Behind the cloud the sunshine lurks,

Through showers the sunbeams fall;

For God, who loveth all His works,

Has left His hope with all.

Whittier

Man the Giver?

The passage in Luke 18 continues. depicting man as the great giver (?!).

And when Jesus saw that he became very sorrowful, He said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 

And those who heard it said, “Who then can be saved?” 

But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” 

Then Peter said, “See, we have left all and followed You.” 

So He said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life.” (Luke 18:24-30).

You can't out-give God. 

Man is not the great giver; our generosity does not even begin to overwhelm the One Who came up with the idea in the first place and gave us everything we have and everything we try to give and feel so good about ourselves. 

As a Little Child

A good parent leads his children towards independence, so that the child can one day become a good parent himself and produce more good parents, and the cycle never ends. And God is the best Parent, right? So of course He guides His children toward the ability to be independent, too? 

That's where it gets interesting. Yes, we are to become spiritual parents in a sense: "For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord," (1 Corinthians 4:17a). But God has no grandchildren. We all remain His children forever - His little children, if you will.

"Then they also brought infants to Him that He might touch them; but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to Him and said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it'" (Luke 18:15-17). You have to be childlike. But what does that look like? Well, let's look at the very next verses; Jesus is going to teach us via opposites. 

Now a certain ruler asked Him, saying, "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" So Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ” And he said, “All these things I have kept from my youth.” So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich. And when Jesus saw that he became very sorrowful, He said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” And those who heard it said, “Who then can be saved?” But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” 

Little children came to Jesus to receive, to be blessed by Him. They knew they were the needy ones. But the rich young ruler came to Jesus for an assignment, apparently thinking that God needed him to do some good work. The rich young ruler felt good about himself; he felt important. I'm sure that when he said what a good law-keeper he had been, he expected Jesus to be kind of amazed and to congratulate him - he wasn't expecting to be told to become poor and follow in faith.

Little children are typically unafraid to ask grown-ups for what they need, and they expect us to be happy to give them what they ask for. Do you see God as a giving Father that you desperately need or as some religious icon that demands a certain kind of life from you?

One More Miracle

God has worked miracles in my life. The fact that I am breathing and thinking and typing this post defies what the doctor thought several months ago. But I have recently realized another great gift God gave me. For the first few months after I woke up, God mercifully held Satan back from major temptation and major emotional attack of any kind. For the longest time, the only sin I could think of that I struggled with was that of not praying without ceasing. 

Now things are much more normal. God recently allowed the devil to return to some of his old temptations as well as some of his old trials. But "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy." And He is "the God of all comforts." So although my life is much more "normal" now, God didn't give me to the wolves by any means. He enabled me to soon conquer the temptations (at least temporarily) and blessed me with sweet Heaven-hugs.

One of those was the sermon this past Sunday out of Luke 10:30-34. A man went on a journey and was wounded. As he lay there by the side of the road, he had to have thought of it as a bad thing. He probably wondered why. But then the good Samaritan came along and poured oil in his wounds and took care of him.

Oil, in the Bible, is a picture of the Holy Spirit. So whatever wound you are dealing with now is actually a gift, an opportunity for a special outpouring of the Holy Spirit. I don't claim to fully understand it, but the thought does carry comfort.