Conflict Styles in the Movie Frozen (2013)

Elsa’s conflict style was one of withdrawal, while Anna’s conflict style involved engaging.
And which way worked? Well, neither way worked at first (either personally or relationally), since both lived pretty miserably and both disliked the separation.

But then for a little while, Elsa’s way of withdrawal seemed more promising since she could be “happy” in her cold-hearted isolation; while Anna in her engaging felt the full force of the estrangement for which she never asked and never even received an explanation.

In the end, though - Elsa’s way very nearly killed both of them. And if it were not for Anna’s sacrificial, warm-hearted engagement with the conflict around her, all would have been lost. But happily for both of them, Anna never gave up on her sister - never stopped pursuing a relationship with Elsa, even at the cost of her own comfort, even at the cost of her own LIFE!

The Elsa’s in the world do not often appreciate those of us who keep engaging with them like annoying little Anna’s.... But don’t feel bad, my fellow Anna. Our way might hurt us more than their way hurts them, but in the end it’s our way that works. That’s all. 😉

Key song lyric: “Beware the frozen heart!”
Elsa’s key admission: “I don’t know how to unfreeze!”
Elsa’s key lesson: “Love can thaw!”

1st Thanksgiving as Mr. & Mrs. Austin!!

I’m so excited to share my childhood-favorite holiday with my all-time-favorite man! ❤️
Here’s tomorrow’s menu; will post pics & recipes later....

For breakfast:

• French toast muffins with candied bacon,
• Sausage & apple stuffing, 
• Coffee - but I’m afraid I don’t have enough pumpkin purée to make both pumpkin pie AND pumpkin spice lattes, so we’ll have to try that out next year 😉

For lunch:

• Turkey, 
• Cranberry sauce, 
• Creamed corn,
• Mashed potatoes & gravy, 
• Homemade croissants,
• Sweet potato pie with spiced walnut streusel

For supper:

• Dinner at Cracker Barrel with my mom, Little Bit, and her bio-mom & bio-grandma 

For Saturday’s family get-together:

• Pumpkin spice latte pie, from the pumpkin that Little Bit helped carve & purée yesterday 

Do We Have Santa All Wrong?

What if Santa was never about getting after all? What if he was always about GIVING?

Read  the real story of Santa Claus here.

So as a family, will we be Santa for our kids or not? Well ... I think that question is the wrong one to ask. Because Santa was never about the rich parents of the world giving gifts to their own already-rich children. No - on the contrary, Santa was always about giving out of his own abundance to bless the poor people around him.

And therefore, if we really want to do Santa Claus and get into the spirit of Christmas, why would we even think about “being Santa” for our own very-blessed children? Why not encourage our kids to instead “be Santa” for the poorer/unhappier children around them?

Yes, my family will probably always do Santa Claus. We will spread that tradition of blessing the needy around us; and through that medium, hopefully we’ll also be spreading the love of Jesus - Immanuel - the truest meaning of Christmas, which the original St. Nicholas was always about anyway!

How to Get More Blessings?

When we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner in a couple weeks, will we enjoy the meal more if we think of ourselves as blessed recipients of a fine meal or if we see ourselves as food critics?

When we sing songs at church, will we have more joy in them if we bask in the love and glory  of God or if we see ourselves as worship critics?

When we hear the pastor’s sermon, will we get more out of it by listening eagerly for a word from the Lord or by listening critically for errors?

When we play games or read books or hang out with friends or shop for groceries or watch TV or whatever we do, will it be more fun if we expect to have a good time or if we have an eagle’s eye for the problems that come up?

Yes, we’re supposed to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1). But that’s just talking about times among people who profess faith - otherwise, God sends us TO the people with bad spirits, as His witnesses. And with Christians, if we know we’re in the presence of the Holy Spirit rather than demons that need to be cast out, then let’s love our brothers & sisters and seek the manifold blessings of God! I think we can get more blessings by opening our eyes and hearts to them!

Thoughts on Divorce and Amputation

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends who are married, those who are divorced, and those who are considering divorce. And thanks to my husband’s  more relaxed temperament, my own thoughts and feelings are starting to become less rigid also.

My question is, how’s divorce like cutting off your own hand? Well, neither is ever okay - right? God says we are all fearfully and wonderfully made, with no reason to engage in self-harm. Then why did Jesus  tell us that we should cut off her own hand sometimes to avoid being consumed with sin? And isn’t amputation sometimes medically necessary to  avoid being consumed with germs? So there are definitely good reasons to cut off your hand! Jesus and science agree on this, just as they do on everything else (since God created science, after all).

But what about divorce? Let me say first of all, and unequivocally, that I will never divorce my husband for any reason. God hates divorce as much as He hates it when His creatures commit suicide or other forms of self harm. Plus, I know my husband and I know that he’ll never EVER give me a reason to need to get away from him! He’s the most wonderful person I know! ❤️ There are a couple of hypothetical reasons that would lead me to divorce him though - purely hypothetical since Christopher’s just not that kind of guy and since I know without a shadow of a doubt that these kinds of things would never happen.

#1 - I would have to divorce him if I discovered that he was physically or sexually abusing someone. But he would never do anything like that! He’s far too good hearted. ❤️

#2 - I would have to divorce him if he repeatedly cheated on me. One affair? I could forgive and heal from that. But a pattern of affairs? Yes, I would still love him and forgive him; but how well could I heal from that? Only to have my heart crushed  again and again in the future, with no end in sight? My main focus in life would be always trying to do a little more to earn his love and loyalty. My self-esteem would be wrecked, my confidence would be on the floor, and even my sanity would become dangerously questionable. I doubt I’d be much of a blessing to anyone until after leaving him to protect my own heart; but even after leaving, I think it’d take considerable time for me to heal from all that. At the same time, I’m sure I’d still always care deeply about him - just from the safety of a little emotional distance....

But - hallelujah, thank You, Jesus! Cause my beloved - my sweetheart - my Christopher? He’s not the kind of person to ever cheat on me either. So I can boldly, proudly, joyfully say -
I am my forever my beloved’s!
And he’s forever mine!
The two of us are beautifully attached ... FOREVER!!! 🥰

Pregnant Too Soon?

“That was too fast. You shouldn’t have a baby in your first year of marriage.” “I told him we have to wait at least a year to get pregnant, so we can get to know each other.” “I always tell young couples they should wait 10 years before getting pregnant, so they can get to know each other.”

Really?! For starters, we’re not a very young couple. I’m 30 years old, so the biological clock was ticking and we didn’t have time to waste! Not to mention - we had good reason to think I might have fertility issues, and we knew we’d have to try for a year before getting fertility treatment anyway.

And getting to know each other? Like, what do you suppose we did during dating & engagement? Do people really think we were just fake, infatuated flirts that whole time? No, Christopher & I love honesty & simplicity too much for that. We also had excellent premarital counseling (readytowed.com), which helped us talk through all the difficult topics before marriage so there were no surprises afterwards.

Yes, we knew each other when we got married, lol. Like seriously, what’s the sense in marrying someone you DON’T know? Yes, our knowledge & love have deepened significantly since getting married; and we expect a further deepening throughout the rest of our lives. It’ll be beautiful. ❤️

But honestly, being pregnant in our first year of marriage has been so lovely and romantic; and we couldn’t be more excited for the coming baby even with any/all accompanying challenges - we feel ready, and we have God to help us where we’re not. 😉

My Church Music Paradigm Shift

I used to have a lot of ideas about right and wrong in music at church.

My first step out of all these human ideas was the Source One seminar towards the beginning of my year studying God’s Word as a 17-year-old freshman at New York’s Word of Life Bible Institute. Every student was required to write out (1) some Scriptural verses on music, (2) our best understanding of the principles being taught in those verses, and (3) our personal application of those Scriptural principles. As for me, the application-points I wrote down were the ones I’d practiced all my life; and of course I found ways to pull them from the Scriptures and principles that I had found. But if I were honest, the Scriptures and principles I found did not really translate to the application-points I listed.

That’s what started me on a journey to the very different application-points I have today.

Because percussion in church music?
That’s Biblical.
“Praise Him with loud cymbals” (Psalm 150:5).

And dancing in praise to God?
That’s Biblical too.
“Let them praise His Name with dancing” (Psalm 149:3).

What about emotions in worship?
Well, I think we can all agree that Psalms (the Jewish hymnal) is the most emotional book in the entire Bible. And if we’re supposed to love God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength - how could that NOT include our emotions?

Obviously we need to be sure we are following the Holy Spirit’s lead and not any other spirit (“Test the spirits,” 1 John 4:1). God will never lead us to do anything contrary to His Word, and He does say to “let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40). But where did some of us get the idea that this verse means church music should never be any fun? What made stuff being fun a necessary contradiction to stuff being orderly?

So now when I see a person up front being passionately expressive in their worship, it’s more likely to inspire worship in me than to inspire judgement. I think that’s a good change. 😉

Baby Excitement!

Baby’s officially 2nd trimester now, and about the size of a hot jalapeño! 

Here are some recent photos: 

- Christopher & I celebrating with our 1st camping trip together (at Natural Bridge State Resort Park), 

- our first ultrasound (when we were 10 weeks along), 

- and a “bump” pic (at Natural Bridge again).

We’re very excited and are thanking God for His wonderful, miraculous gift!

Long Time No Write ;)

Life is still sweet, and still a struggle too - but God is even sweeter through it all!
Discovering more of what that means. And I need to start getting pen to paper again....

Much has changed. Married my wonderful husband on April 6th, have a 3-year-old I care for, and I'm still recovering from that auto accident - almost seven years ago now! It's hard in ways, and my dream-life in others. ;) God is good!